The diary of my hell

Fri, 28 Dec 2007 19:26:13 GMT

Hi everyone--

I havent been on in a while because after an ulcer and painful rotting teeth i realized I had to stop the purging.... I'm not out of the woods yet, but its definitely not at 3xs a day.

Since Ive stopped purging--I still restrict hardcore and then end up binging...I lost 5+ lbs with no change in my lifestyle. I know its impossible to break the cycle cuz you NEED to purge but trust me purging isnt helping u lose weight..i learned it myself.

even though im still a crazy ED obsessed beotch, my life is a little easier cuz i stopped purging. I wish i could help everyone the way i did myself...

have a good day loves!

so far im at 150 cals but theres is tons of christmas candy starin at me right now :(

Wed, 17 Oct 2007 04:28:04 GMT

Im posting this so you can tell me how fat and ugly and awful I am. Really....please do. I need the criticism to snap me out of this.

Today I ate.

-halloween candy
-5 gingersnap cookies
-salad
a potato
-beef roast
-lettuce
-a piece of french bread
-ben and jerrys ice cream
-a halloween marshmallow pumpkin
-2 tacos

My stomach hurts so bad and I am SO ANGrY at myself. I dont even deserve to be on this website. SOMEONE YELL AT ME.

Tue, 09 Oct 2007 04:43:59 GMT

Since I have been on here, which has been about two weeks now..I have lost a whopping 2 LBS. 2 freaking lbs. I have been starving myself and putting myself through hell only to see 2 digits chiseled off teh scale! Its not fair!

So. I'm posting on here so ppl can follow my progress so i HAVE to do better.

HW 160 ( P.S. Im 6 feet tall)

LW 135

CW 153 :(

GW:1 by Friday October 12----150 Whenever I'm under 150, I'm allowing myself to buy a new camera which i've been saving for...breaking the 150 mark will be huge for me.
GW 2 by Oct 21 ----145
GW 3 by Halloween----140
this is just a start.........

This is TOTALLY realistic. I KNOW i can do it. ..and I will be so happy when i do!